Thursday, May 30, 2013

Bad Boy Next Door: Out Now

This short story should hold you over until the next release. It's short, steamy and full of banter. 

After a lifetime of dating too many Mr. Nice Guys, Penelope Copeland is ready to shed her good girl persona. She's looking for a little adventure, with a sprinkle of fun and whole lot of naughty. Unfortunately, most bad boys won’t give her the time of day. They only see her as a sweet kindergarten teacher. Now, all she has to do is convince Ryan Pollard, her self-proclaimed bad-boy neighbor, that she's not as sweet as she looks.

Ryan Pollard is not one to follow conventional rules. His job as a crime reporter doesn't leave him with much use for them. Yet, he's managed to keep his relationship with Penelope platonic with just a hint of flirtation—until tonight. She says she wants an adventure, a walk on the dark side, and he's more than eager to give her one.

When their adventure takes a turn from playful to serious, Ryan and Penelope must choose between pretending the night never happened or embarking on the greatest adventure of all—love.
Barnes and Noble

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

A Modern Fairy Tale: The Other More Dark Behind the Scene Secrets

WARNING: This will be long, but there's a sort-of freebie in this post so it might be worth your while.

Ok. Not that dark. By now you know the Girls took up some real estate in my brain and refused to budge until I wrote their stories. But, why a bakery? Why a fairy tale theme? Or, better yet, questioning the One?

See...what happened was I started this other book. Fantastic idea. Entered into a contest that required weekly installments. I got up to 20k on that sucker and then the words petered out. The core of that book was about deception. The hero was lying to the heroine and that always felt WRONG, but I kept pushing through because the book had so much potential. I re-wrote it tons of times and it never worked because there was that deception that I had to write. I hated it so I stopped writing that sucker. The book wasn't a waste though. And it had such good elements. Like, the heroine nicknamed her desserts. The hero was pretending to be a mystery writer who is having some serious writer's block. His name was Warren. The bakery is the hub of all that happens in the book. There's an ex that's been wronged. Bar stools for peeps to sit in. A sex siren sister. Seriously, this one failed book turned into three.

So, it wasn't a complete bust. I totally stole from it without apology when I needed to. (See how many things you can catch.) One day I'll find a way to make the hook work for another book. There's still plenty of the story that totally has the right amount of crunch. (The hook being the heroine has had a tell-all book written about her titled "Getting Over the Wrong ONE") Anyway, here's a sneak peek at the ugly step-sister that I totally rewrote and came up with A Modern Fairy Tale:

Melissa Blue Copyright 2013 Falling For the Heartbreaker (UNEDITED)

Attraction: The Tell-Tale Heart
Savannah Frank’s hands clenched on the book her ex-boyfriend handed to her only a few moments ago. “You wrote a tell-all book about me?” Disbelief rang in her voice.
The smooth caramel skin wrinkled above Larry's brows.“It’s not exactly about you.” He shifted in his penny loafers and spread his hands.
Savannah flipped to the introduction. “'I once asked a woman to marry me and she turned me down cold. It wasn't until I was recovering from the heartbreak that I saw her pattern. She's Mrs. Wrong. The type of woman who is more in love with the idea of love.'” She held the offending book higher. “But this book isn’t about me? And I am not that type of woman.”
She cracked the book open not waiting for the answer. Her eyes scanned down the chapter list and stopped. “Chapter Ten, “Did I hear her right?!! She said, “No”.”
She sucked in a breath, trying to quill the temper. She needed to keep calm. Killing her ex would probably make the book a bestseller and that was the last thing she needed.
Savannah tried again, this time speaking much softer, “Larry, I know you’re not happy with how things turned out.”
He started to back up to the office door looking like a cat right before sprinting away. She jumped out of her seat. He flinched as if she was going to strike him. Did I turn him into this wuss, or was he always like this? She breathed out of her nose. No matter what he’d been or turned into, there wasn’t any excuse for this book, much less him trying to blame her solely for their failed relationship.
The simple truth was they didn’t have the it factor. The intangible pull where if she were to look across a room and saw him her heart would do funny things, her stomach would fill with butterflies, and all he’d have to say was, “hi” and she'd melt.
He was the ONE for someone, just not her. It’d taken her eleven months, two days, and a botched wedding proposal to see that.
The book almost slid from her sweaty hand. She did not have time for this. By now the Hello Dollies mix was probably goopey. He’d interrupted her morning ritual to get the bakery ready, telling her they needed to talk. He’d kept his voice low so Tara, her sister, couldn’t hear him, stressing he needed to tell her something before someone else did. She’d expected him to tell her he was getting married. She was going to wish him the best. The guilt crept in a little closer, because when he said those words she felt relief the first time in a year. No wonder he didn’t want to tell her in the kitchen, way too many knives available.
A tell all book?” She waved it in his face.
The past few months have been hard for me.”
There was the guilt again until the front of the book passed her vision again. He'd named it Getting Over The Wrong One. She didn’t have much of an ego, but this morning, the little one she had, was taking a hit.
A. Tell. All. Book.” She flipped back to the chapter list. The gasped caught in her throat. How could she have missed that chapter? “The First Sign: She fakes it.” The words meted out through gritted teeth.
He opened the door and made a run for it. Savannah chased him out, no where near done with him yet. He stopped short of the front door. “I signed it for you; I hope you do read it. Maybe you won’t do it again to some other poor sap.”
Her grip on the book tightened. “Just tell me when you got the book deal. Books don’t come out overnight.”
He winced. “A year ago, and that’s an ARC you’re holding.”
He must have known what she’d do, because the book hit the bell over the door as it banged shut behind him. The blood in her veins seemed to boil. She pressed her face against the glass counter top. The cold surface felt cool against her heated skin.
Dare I ask what that was about?” Tara spoke from behind her.
Larry, wrote a tell book about me. He says it isn’t, but the title makes me a little suspicious.”
Tara covered her laugh with a cough. “Where is it?”
Savannah lifted her head to see her sister. Tara’s teeth were planted firmly in her bottom lip. “Go ahead, you can laugh.”
That’s all it took for her sister.
Oh, God, let me get it.” Her sister breezed past her to the door. Tara sat down on the bar stool near the counter after reading the title. “I tried to tell you he was a prick. Oh, no, baby sister never wants to listen.” She opened the book. “The First Sign: She fakes It. Oh, boy. I’m reading this.”
Savannah straightened. “I’m going to start getting ready. Someone has to make sure the customers get the product they come here for.”
The chastisement went over her sister’s head. Savannah tightened the strings on her apron. The first tray displayed the Hello Dollies she planned to lose herself in. Damn, Tara for being efficient. She couldn’t be like any other sibling, listening at the door for juicy tidbits and leaving all the work to be done. Savannah picked up the tray and slid it into the oven.
Her sister's footfalls suddenly filled the quiet kitchen. “I’m going to guess you haven’t read the dedication.”
Savannah grabbed the thawed dough for croissants off the counter. The action seemed to encourage Tara. She read out loud what Savannah wanted to forget existed.
'To my Mrs. Wrong. Here’s hoping Mr. Right breaks your heart.'” Tara finally let go of the book and placed it on the counter. “Told you he was a prick.”
Her hands gripped the rolling pin like a vise. “Are you going to help me get ready or do I need to do this by myself?”
Tara moved into her line of vision. “Sweetie, I was trying to lighten you up.”
Savannah grabbed the knife, and started to cut the dough diagonally. Flour covered her trembling hands, and she sighed. “A tell all book?”
He’s a prick, but I don’t think he was dumb enough to mention your name.”
Like I have the money to sue him if he did.” Savannah kept her eyes averted. She should have known better. Tara’s delicate hand covered hers. “Can you just get rid of it? Then get started on lunch.”
Look at me.” Tara spoke softly.
Savannah lowered her shoulders in defeat and met her sister’s gaze. “He wasn’t worth it. It’s probably all crap.”
I did fake it.” The admission left her lips before she could reel it back in.
We’ll his name is Larry. Imagine screaming that at the top of your lungs. Kills a girl's mojo.”
Savannah chuckled. “Thanks.”
Tara shrugged. “How many women can say they’ve had a whole book written about them?”
I still don’t see how that’s a compliment. It’s not so much the book.” Tara raised a brow. “Okay, a good ninety percent of it is that he wrote a whole book, but…”
She was being put under a microscope. All her tells would be laid out for any man to read. She’d have to read the book from front to back to see if he did mention her name, but still she’d know.
Tara shrugged again. “It’ll blow over. It’s not like Larry will ever write a bestseller.”
True.” Savannah turned back to the dough feeling her balance come back. “I’m sure it will blow over.”
The next morning Savannah’s steps faltered as she passed CeCe’s Books. Why did she expect the truth from Larry? A handbook on proper ex etiquette didn’t exist. It had never crossed her mind to ask when the book was coming out. From the four-rack front display in the local bookstore, today, apparently, was the release date.
I’m going to be sick.”
Savannah noted the store's hours printed on the door. When it opened she’d have take a break and buy all the copies, because she'd read it. After her shift ended and Mom and Dad had taken over for the rest of the day, she’d gone home and read it faster than her favorite romantic suspense novels.
Oh, he hadn’t mentioned her name, the sly bastard, but he’d mentioned the heart tattoo on her shoulder blade, the fact she worked with her parents in a bakery shop, that she graduated from Stafford--sum cum laude, was the baby out of three siblings, and profiled her as a serial monogamist.
By the last page she started to wonder if he dated her just to write the book. He missed nothing. Chef turned pop-psychologist had detailed their relationship and repeatedly mentioned she was in love with the idea of love. Larry falling off the nearest cliff wouldn’t be good enough.
Savannah moved her hand from the glass and fished out the keys to open Mom and Pop’s. Silence and the smell of yeast welcomed her, and for some odd reason it made her stomach knot. How could she stand there behind the glass, smiling for customers, knowing that book was out there?
A note on the cash register caught her attention.
Late night. Won’t be in. Just heat up the soup. Ready made sandwiches.
Big Sis
She grabbed the apron from the hook by the stove. Great. Tara was bailing out on her as usual and Savannah had to get the shop ready, and that’s how she could through this morning. Her family’s burden of responsibility was far from the norm. Instead of being the rebel she was the dependable sibling, the one who took charge during family meetings, and it never failed, a big decision was left up to her. Not because her family respected her opinion more than anyone else’s, but because she’d be the one stuck with the grunt work.
Savannah took in a slow breath before pulling out the batter for truffles. It was going to be fine. Not the first time and it wouldn’t be the last she’d have to open the store. Her morning would be fine. Mid-way through mixing, the phone rang.
Mom and Pops Bakery.”
Am I speaking with Savannah Frank?” the smoky female voice asked.
She frowned having expected Tara. It was barely 6 o’clock in the morning. Only bill collectors called this early. “Who is this?”
I’m Vanessa Heaton from the Colby Journal.”
Why was the local newspaper calling her? The spit dried in her mouth as her hand tightened around the phone. Oh, no, Larry and his damn book. Any reporter worth their snuff could have found out they’d been an item. If you sneezed too hard in Colby you’d make the front page, above the fold. And Larry, chef extraordinaire, had written a book.
Savannah backtracked to the front with the cordless glued to her ear. She picked up the paper left on the doorstep. Larry’s wide forehead took up the front page. The headline, “Local Author with Bestseller Buzz” made her stomach knot harder. She placed the paper up to her face and finally answered her worst nightmare, “She’s not here right now, but I can take a message?”
Mom and Pops is family owned, so I’m sure you know her. What does she think of her ex-boyfriend penning a tell all book about their failed relationship?”
I wouldn’t know.” Savannah finally glanced up from the paper in her hand. A woman with a cell phone up to her ear, leaning against her car was looking at her.
Are you sure she’s not there?” Vanessa asked.
Savannah saw the smirk from across the street. “Sorry go to go.”
She went back inside and locked the door pulling down the venetian blinds. Why had she expected everything to go right in her world? Nothing ever did, and now this. She splayed the paper on the counter next to the cash register.
Chef of famous hometown restaurant, Colby Corner, spills his heart in self-help novel. Larry Benedict’s debut novel speaks to every person who’s gotten their heartbroken by the wrong One.
You think the person loves you, they show all the signs of being in love, but when it comes down to it they aren’t willing to really love you,” Benedict confesses.
He’s keeping mum on who the inspiration of the book is, “It’s not her fault. I don’t think she knows the difference between being in love and loving love.”
Savannah crumbled the newspaper and dialed Larry’s with the other. It rung five times before the answering machine turned on. “Sorry, but I won’t be in for a while. I’ve headed out for my thirty city book tour. I’ll check my messages daily.”
The beep seemed to stab the headache pounding on her temples. “How—” She started then stopped. Much like being arrested, anything she said could be used against her. She punched the off button on the phone. Someone knocked on the door. Sooner or later she was going to face what was on the other side that glass, but first she had to make some damn truffles.
Warren Marks jolted awake when something plopped into his lap. His boss, Taylor, stood over him. He glanced down at the book that had been dropped on him.
I want you to cover this story.” Taylor motioned to the book. “It’s got bestseller written all over it.”
He turned to the back cover and the face tickled his memory. “Wasn’t he on the Today show this morning?”
Yup, but I don’t want you to cover him. I want you to get the story out of Mrs. Wrong.”
His editor had to be kidding. Taylor wanted him to travel fifty miles to interview a woman with a string of broken hearts in her trail when the real story was why a man would put his business out there for the world to read. “I thought I was going to cover the literacy banquet?”
You’re bored with this job. You think I don’t notice. I just had to wake you up when you should have been writing.”
He tossed the book on the desk, because he couldn’t argue with Taylor. He was bored. He figured about six months ago his brain leaked out of his ears, but this is the life he wanted. If he had to pick the stories he once covered to the society page stories he did now, the latter would always win.
From what I’ve heard she’s not talking,” Warren pointed out.
Actually she’s playing the 'I have no idea what you are talking about' card.”
The old itch crept up his back. “No.”
Then you can write your resignation paper now.”
Warren leaned back in his chair and really looked at his old college friend. Taylor wasn’t bluffing. “If she’s not giving the goods, how am I supposed to get the story out of her?”
The corner of Taylor’s mouth quirked up before he said, “Be creative.”
He glanced down at the book and held back his laugh at the title. Those suckers were going to sell like hotcakes. The man who wrote it wasn’t going to need the extra publicity. The story was going to be covered from every angle possible. Warren wouldn’t be bringing anything new to the audience.
Why me?” he asked his friend, his editor.
You’re the only one I know who can expose her for what she is?”
Warren's head snapped back. “And what do you think she is?”
The type of woman who gets what she wants and loses interest. The type of woman who says she wants to get married, but you practically have to put a gun to their head to do it. The type of woman who can chew men up and spit them out,” Taylor started to nod, “we’ve all dated them. Larry was either dumb or brave enough to write about one.”
The itch crept up higher and Warren shifted in his seat. “No.”
At least read the book and if you don’t get any ideas on how to get the story I’ll let you rot at banquet on Friday, and any other high society get together in the tri-state area.”
The offer sat on a silver platter before him. The itch turned into a burn on the back of his skull. Just like the old days. “I’m not making any promises.”
You’ve got the look. I’ll book the ticket.” Taylor muttered, but Warren barely heard him already engrossed in chapter one.
There's a release to get ready for. So, when that dies down, and if you guys want, I can post the second chapter. That's when things get really similar. lol

Sunday, May 26, 2013

The Trouble with Double Trouble

I sort of made this promise I'd talk about the last book in the Modern Fairy Tale series. Some of you are waiting impatiently for it. I can't tell you how gratifying that is. I set out to write three books with three different woman and love stories. I spent over two years angsting about whether or not I should even publish the series.

For the most part, these stories were so different from what I was used to writing that I was convinced I was cracked in the head for even wanting to publish them. They were sassy and heartfelt books I told myself when I gave up on writing on romance. The only romance people wanted was the kind where loins were lit on fire. People didn't want romance that was about the art of flirtation, connection or conversations you have when you're stripped of all else but words. Yes, I was totally having an emo moment while writing these books.

And even as a series they were so different that I couldn't imagine a publisher wanting the first one and then wanting the second, much less the third. Series are supposed to have uniformity. Book 1 looks like book 2,3 and so on and so forth. Double Dare is not at all like Twice Smitten. I can understand why folks will hate DD and love TS. Or vice versa. I can also understand why DD is why they love TS because folks just love the world. Yet, I had nothing but doubts about this series and was convinced it would fall dead on its face no matter what I did to sell it to you. But, well over 40,000 of you downloaded Double Dare in a month. You're moving on to Twice Smitten and loving it. You're waiting impatiently for Double Trouble.


The thing with Sasha's book is that she's an unwieldy heroine. Emma is sweet. I've never been that in my life, but sweet is something I GET and can write. Abigail is stubborn beyond the telling of it. That I can GET because I am for that most part and I can write it.

But, Sasha...hmmm. She's sweet, sexy, clueless, but smart. She doesn't have a deep, dark past that stops her from falling in love with the right guy. She is the epitome of the mistakes you make when you're young, but she doesn't regret a single one of them because she's level-headed enough to know it's what made her..her. And it's what she wanted to do at the time. She's flighty, but dependable when it's things that matter. If you want the middle road between Emma's sweetness and Abigail's stubbornness, you'd get Sasha.

And, it's tough to make a character like that shine on the page and be likeable or sympathetic. She's both nothing but flaws and perfection all wrapped into one. The problem is I do and don't GET her. Hell, I wrote her story. It's written and done, for the most part. I know what her arc is, she wants to leave behind all the mistakes of her past because, although she doesn't regret them, she doesn't want to live them again. She wants stable. It's what she grew up in and there's nothing to sneer at it. Especially when you grow up and find that's pretty much what you've surrounded yourself with. This is where the cluelessness comes in because she's convinced you can only find stability, love and maybe a little bit of lust in predictability.

But, Sasha is SASHA. She is flighty, dependable, sweet, stubborn, sexy and clueless. Sasha is a chameleon, which is fine unless you're trying to write that kind of character and make people believe they should totally stay to find out what her story is. And then you have Warren, her hero who is sweet, adorable and kinky as hell. He's grounded in something that I totally get—he's a writer—so his conflicting personality makes complete sense.

So...the problem, in part, is Sasha. Not that she needs fixing. She's perfectly flawed and fine as she is. The problem is me writing Sasha. The problem is ending a series in a fulfilling way when the story isn't about burning loins—though there is plenty in this story. It's SASHA—that completes the promise of a story that's about connection, the art of flirtation, conversations when you've been stripped of everything but words. It's about the Modern Fairy that starts off by saying Once upon a time in a whisper and ending by screaming They lived happily ever after because love is real and it's not perfect. Sometimes it's not exciting every second you're with them and the only fireworks are how you feel when you look at the person you've fallen head over heels with and you know... THEY KNOW YOU.

Ok. So the trouble with Double Trouble is that I'm emo romance writer who wrote this unconventional and weird series that requires a little more ansting than usual to finish. Take this blog post as a positive sign, it's getting to you soon. Talk about emo...

Saturday, May 18, 2013

Another Deal, Another Day: Juneteenth Sale

So, you guys showed up like crazycakes in March for the IR/MC March Madness sale. You, the reader, made it a great success. 

Guess what? (If the post's title wasn't a spoiler...) I'm having another group sale with IR/MC author. 

What is it? 

It's a celebration of Juneteenth.  

Why Juneteenth? 

The simple fact is there was a time in America's history where folks would get fined, punished or thrown in jail for teaching people of color to read. More specifically, teaching slaves to read. The general fear was if you taught slaves how to write they might, you know, think about their lot in life. They may not be happy about it. They just might educate themselves. And then the nightmare would begin: they might educate others.

What I do every day as a passion, for a living was illegal in the United States. Took some time for the word to get out that slavery had been abolished and that was just one step closer to where I'm sitting now. I don't know about you, but I think that's cause for a celebration. It's worthy of taking a moment.

Why a group sale?

Who doesn't love a sale? Me, along with other IR/MC fabulous authors (Bettye Griffin, LV Lewis, Holley Trent and Ambrielle Kirk...just to name a few) will discount some of our titles. Like, DISCOUNT. Tell your friends and have their friends tell their friends to get ready for this sale.


June 13th-19th

June 5th I'll have the full list and details of where you can find these discounts and the authors participating. I'll post links and use excessive amounts of exclamation points. Stay tuned.

Thursday, May 16, 2013

What's To Come

I'm sure you're all waiting for Double Trouble. It's Sasha's story. The final book in the Modern Fairy Tale series. Well...that's going to be a while. Not too long, but longer than y'all like. But I promise it's coming sometime this year. Until then I'll have two other releases. First up...

(Slated for a June 1st release date.)

After a lifetime of dating too many Mr. Nice Guys, Penelope Copeland is ready to shed her good girl persona. She's looking for a little adventure, with a sprinkle of fun and whole lot of naughty. Unfortunately, most bad boys won’t give her the time of day. They only see her as a sweet kindergarten teacher. Now, all she has to do is convince Ryan Pollard, her self-proclaimed bad-boy neighbor that she's not as sweet as she looks.
Ryan Pollard is not one to follow conventional rules. His job as a crime reporter doesn't leave him with much use for them. Yet, he's managed to keep his relationship with Penelope platonic with just a hint of flirtation—until tonight. She says she wants an adventure, a walk on the dark side, and he's more than eager to give her one.
When their adventure takes a turn from playful to serious, Ryan and Penelope must choose between pretending the night never happened or embarking on the greatest adventure of all—love.

Rough, rough blurb:

(Slated for a July release.)

Farrah Kane comes home to work for her best friend, Micah Stamps, as a favor. For the next three months she'll be his fund-raising coordinator and his roommate. It doesn't take long for the home sickness to wear off and for Farrah to realize she's made a mistake. The year away in New York has not cooled down the simmering attraction between them. Doesn't matter. She plans to ignore the undercurrents, because they're friends and nothing can change that. There's only one obstacle to her plan--Micah.There's no getting around the fact Micah Stamps' best friend makes his blood run hot. Maybe he missed Farrah a little too much while she was in New York, but that's a non-issue. They've changed and they'll roll with it just like always. If only she'd stop being so stubborn about keeping things platonic between them. There's one simple solution to her hesitance: he sets out to seduce her. He doesn't see any pitfalls in this plan. They'll spend their days working and their nights sweating. The best of both worlds.Work brings out all the differences in who they are and drags them to the forefront. Their hearts get in the way of their their well-laid plans. Now, they have to figure out if it's possible to be still friends now that they've become lovers.

Thursday, May 09, 2013

Behind the Scenes: Twice Smitten and Mirror Sex

So, I knew going in I'd write Emma's, Abigail's and Sasha's stories. Now, I had no idea what they'd turn out to be, but I knew I wanted to see them all get their happily ever afters. I also knew I wanted to play with fairy tales. For Emma Cinderella was a no-brainer to choose. She was sweet and kind and she took care of others.

Abigail was harder to pin down. No fairy tale came to mind, but around the same time Adele's 21 had hit and I was listening to that sucker on repeat. In Double Dare there's a mention of an ex—the one that got away. And every time Someone Like You would play I just felt like that was the perfect song. Yet, every time I tried to imagine Abigail with Greg and how that romance would play out it just didn't feel right. Greg was a great guy. He was sweet, kind and all the things you'd want in a man. gotta know Abigail to know that kind of man wouldn't make her fall and fall hard forever. She'd love him and he'd might be able to soften her sharp edges in time.

That's nice, but not the right amount of crunch. Abigail has a strong personality. She's a serial monogamist. She's a heartbreaker. She knows where she stands because she's standing their goddammit. Abigail needed a club to the head. She needed someone who would see behind her bluster and brave face. He needed to see the Abigail her friends knew and loved. She needed Drew Carter. Not the ex, but the ex's cousin. The guy who stood on the sidelines and watched everything that happened and knew exactly what Abigail needed. That alone couldn't be the reason why she'd keep him at arm's length. No. I made him a charmer, a man who loved women of all shapes and kinds. I made him someone on the surface you wouldn't trust to hold your pack of gum. And wouldn't it be interesting if the day she met Greg, she met Drew?

Come on, I was playing with the idea of fate and destiny. What would it mean to choose the guy who seemed perfect? Who, on paper, should be the guy you marry and ride off into the sunset with. What would it mean to choose the wrong One?

And that's when it all clicked. Abigail's story was Beauty and the Beast. The theme running up and down that story is about looking past the appearance and finding the person who accepts you just the way you are. Prickly attitude and all. (Abigail is so prickly.) (And Drew totally got his reputation in a hard-earned way.)

So...the book opens up at a wedding. (Thanks to Someone Like You influence.) The story is really questioning the whole idea of knowing, just knowing the One. There's also plenty of dirty jokes. Mirror sex. (This was based on Beauty and the Beast and I couldn't figure out how to put a mirror in...) Jargon about advertising. Emma, Sasha and Abigail chattering.

Of course, it's also a romance that ends happily ever after.

Ok. That's it for now. Maybe later I'll finally explain the trouble with Double Trouble.

Tuesday, May 07, 2013

I Used To Blog

Recently I was reminded how I used to blog. When I started writing I used to hate the blogs that were only about the latest releases or contests. (Looks around my own blog now. Yeah.) I didn't know then I was searching for a connection. I wanted to find those wonderful blogs that it seemed like folks peeled back their humanity. Now, I'm not talking soul-deep blog posts, but the kind where you walked away knowing a complete stranger a little better. The rants were the best because people really forget to keep all the filters in place when they're pissed. So, I used to blog like that all the time. One of my most popular blog posts was a tongue-in-cheek confession about my addiction to the Internet.

So, what happened?

I blogged for five years and felt like there was nothing for me to say anymore. Then I got really busy and didn't have the time for retrospective type post that could sort of inspire. Then Oprah went off the air and that screwed up my touchstone. Seriously, watching Oprah reminded me to stop for a moment and look within. I know, sounds so touchy-feely but that's who I am and that's how I refill my well. I take stock of myself to see where I stand. Usually when something huge hits me between the eyes and throws me off balance.

As fate would have So, I'm taking stock at the moment. I'm looking at the goals I made for this year and it's not that I can't reach them. I'm pretty ambitious when I want to be. It's that reaching them isn't going to put me in a space that I need to be at the moment. My goals are counter-productive to where I want to be in my writing career. Who would have thought that's even possible? Goals are bad. Lol

What am I doing instead of reaching my goals? I'm listening to music, writing emo blog posts and watching lots and lots of tv/movies. Believe it or not, this is work. Can't put my heart and soul into something if my heart and soul is on empty. Took me years to recognize and accept that. So, I'm off to do more navel gazing.

Will be back later in fine form and probably with something to sell. Oh, or I just might talk about how the wait will be long for Double Trouble.