Friday, June 21, 2013

Sex Scenes Are the Hardest Part (Pun Intended)

He wasted no time to bend down and plant his mouth on hers.

Is he building a garden with his mouth? And bend doesn't sound very sex. It sounds laborious so maybe he IS in a garden while I'm trying to write a sex scene.

Thesaurus search for 'bend':

Crook, sag, tilt, angle...other words I wouldn't use in a million years.

Scroll down to the verbs...

persuade, compel, mold..

Hmmm. Mold.

Angle is a connected word:

crotch, cusp, notch....

Hmm. I could use cusp somewhere else.

Ok. Let me look at the lines before that:

He clasped his fingers around her throat. Yes, he looked dangerous (note to self: describe what dangerous looks like), but the touch was gentle. The grasp was a claiming nonetheless, but nothing that stoked fear in her heart. He pushed up until her neck was completely composed.
Just a kiss?” he asked.
Yes.”
He wasted no time to bend down and plant his mouth on hers.

All right. Let me move some things around.

He clasped his fingers around her throat. His jawline, his bulky frame was taut with tension and he loomed over her. Keri's mind screamed danger. Yet, she could easily break the hold by turning her head, but she couldn't look away. Not while the gray in his eyes seemed opaque. He had no intention to harm her, but the grasp was a claiming nonetheless. And it wasn't fear that stoked heat in her stomach.

Thesaurus search for 'push up':

rise up, slope, surge, sweep up...

A search that leads nowhere. Gah.

He clasped his fingers around her throat. His jawline, his bulky frame was taut with tension and he loomed over her. Keri's mind screamed danger. Yet, she could easily break the hold by turning her head, but she couldn't look away. Not while the gray in his eyes seemed opaque. He had no intention to harm her, but the grasp was a claiming nonetheless. And it wasn't fear that stoked heat in her stomach.
Tristan slid his hand up until the full line of her throat was exposed. Leaving her neck open for the taking was a gesture of prey to show submission. But he did look like a predator, just one bite away from devouring her.
She wanted him to.
Just a kiss?” he asked.
Yes.”

Ok. Now I can fix that last line.

Hmm. Seems like a good time to check Facebook....thirty minutes later.

He clasped his fingers around her throat. His jawline, his bulky frame was taut with tension and he loomed over her. Keri's mind screamed danger. Yet, she could easily break the hold by turning her head, but she couldn't look away. Not while the gray in his eyes seemed opaque. He had no intention to harm her, but the grasp was a claiming nonetheless. And it wasn't fear that stoked heat in her stomach.
Tristan slid his hand up until the full line of her throat was exposed. Leaving her neck open for the taking was a gesture of prey to show submission. But he did look like a predator, just one bite away from devouring her.
She wanted him to.
Just a kiss?” he asked.
Yes.”
He leaned forward and brushed his lips across her chin. “You want more than a kiss?”
He was close enough now she could feel what he wanted. She closed her eyes. “Yes.”
And then his mouth was on hers, devouring the soft moan that spilled from her lips.

Ah. Problem solved for the moment. Now I just have to write the rest of the scene.

* head desk *

2 comments:

Jennifer Leeland said...

Buhahahahahahw!!!! OMG! We're TWINS!!!!

Melissa Blue said...

lol And it took me an hour to get that. lol

There was an error in this gadget