Monday, March 12, 2012
I'M NOT A DREAM CRUSHER
Little Ms. Diva(who is 8 years old): My tooth fell out.
Cynical Mother: Aren't you too old to have teeth still falling out?
LMD: See? *shows mother bloody gums.
CM:*gags* Eew. Where is it?
LMD: Under my pillow. So, when I wake up the Tooth Fairy will leave me money.
LMD: How much do yo think she's going to leave me?
CM: Little Ms. Diva, the Tooth Fairy doesn't exist.
LMD: *narrows her eyes* Then why is there always money under my pillow AFTER I put my tooth under it?
CM: Me or Nana takes your tooth while you are sleeping and puts money there.
LMD:*eyes are still narrowed, but walks away*
CM*filled with guilt.* It was time. She's eight. God, I'm going to have to tell her about Santa soon.
LMD: Then when I was at my grandma's house who left me money then? Huh? Do you have an answer for that?
CM: She took your tooth. Everyone knows the Tooth Fairy doesn't exist. It's up to me to tell you these things. Plus, I'm broke, so now is a good time as any.
LMD:*narrows her eyes and makes the "I'm watching you motion"*
CM: *throughly amused that she even knows that motion.* Little Ms. Diva, I'm telling you the truth.
LMD: We'll see who is right.
Night falls, CM sleeps on her decision to crush child's dream....
CM: *at 5 o'clock in the morning goes to an ATM withdraws $20, breaks the $20, and leaves three dollars under LMD pillow while she slumbers.
I tried and couldn't do it, because next it will be Santa. I'm not ready to take Santa away. So, what's a few dollars under a pillow? Yeah, she's going to be like 'in you face' all day, but I think I can take it. I couldn't take the pouting, the tears at the realization that no, the Tooth Fairy, is fake. And that me and all the people she loved has lied to her all these years. What else have we lied about? Nope, I'm not a dream crusher.
When did someone break the news to you? Or when did you break the news to your child?